So many of you are writing in about your relationships and how you know if your relationships are working or not. So I am going to share 5 things that are signs that your relationship isn’t working. Recognising this is critical, even if it is hard to accept.

1. YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE YOURSELF

In this relationship you are always walking on eggshells, you are not sure how to act when you are in public when you are around friends you’re not sure if you should hold hands, you’re uncomfortable talking about your feelings because you don’t know if they are on the same page. All these things mean you don’t feel comfortable being you is a red flag.

In any relationship where you feel the need to change yourself or not talk about how you feel in order to keep the peace, you are starting a battle within yourself. These relationships always blow up.

2. CONSTANTLY QUESTIONING HOW YOU SHOULD COMMUNICATE.

If you are nervous about sending a text, asking if they want to hang out, do you obsess whether they opened your snap or dm but they didn’t respond, to how long it’s been since they texted back, do they watch your Instagram story but not comment? Are you constantly checking their social media for clues on whether you should reach out? Any relationship when you spend more time thinking and obsessing, rather than communicating, is a relationship that’s broken.

3. YOU THINK ABOUT WHERE THE RELATIONSHIP STANDS ALL THE TIME.

You ask questions like, are we exclusive, are we committed, can I introduce you to my family, can I invite you to a work event. Not knowing where you stand means this relationship doesn’t stand a chance.

4. YOU ARE STARTING TO GET ANNOYED.

You’re the one opening messages and snaps and not responding. You’re saying you are too busy to hang out in order to send a message. You are hesitant to commit to future plans because you don’t know the future of this relationship. You are irritated and snap at them more than usual. All those cute little things that used to make you laugh, are really annoying. And…the final alarm bell …If their name pops up on your phone, or they walk through the door at the end of the day, and you feel anxious, dread and not excited. That’s a sign that you are over this person.

5. YOU QUESTION IF YOU HAVE THE SAME VALUES.

If you are starting to feel like you are losing yourself, maybe you are drinking more than you would like, you are spending less time with your friends, skipping the gym, not doing what you enjoy to please them. This is a major problem. If there isn’t a balance between the two of you, you will always feel like the less important part of the relationship because you are.

If this has resonated with you, see it as the wake-up call you needed.

Choose yourself!

Now it is time to accept it and move on. The next time you are about to get into a relationship, remember, you deserve someone who brings out the best in you.

If you are someone you know needs help with their relationship, please get in touch with me, talking it through with someone that can offer a different perspective and professional advice is better than ignoring it.